


i miss you (say you miss me too)

by mabbyartin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Closure, Heart-to-Heart, How Do I Tag, Late Night Conversations, M/M, alcohol use, atsumu is getting married, broken up sakuatsu, heartbroken sakusa, sakusa is sad and alone, sakusa still love atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29236791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabbyartin/pseuds/mabbyartin
Summary: sakusa finds out atsumu is getting married and decides the best way to deal with it is to get drunk and call him.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 47





	i miss you (say you miss me too)

**Author's Note:**

> this somehow popped into my head after i cried for thirty minutes to “someone like you” by adele. i like hurting myself for some reason.

sakusa sat in his apartment drinking in silence as tears slowly slid down his face. he had seen a picture on instagram that was just posted a few hours ago. it was of atsumu. his atsumu. he had finally proposed to his girlfriend and now there they were, kissing on kiyoomi’s feed. he felt another wave of sadness and took a big swig out of the almost empty bottle of alcohol. 

he knew he shouldn’t be upset by this. he hadn’t seen atsumu in almost three years, not since he left the black jackals. he didn’t have a right to be upset, what they had ended a long time ago. still, there he was at 10 pm on a wednesday thinking about his ex-boyfriend and his stupidly beautiful fiancé. shit, she’s his fiancé now. kiyoomi rubbed at his face harshly, trying to push out the thoughts that flooded his brain. this was all his fault. it really was. he was the one who wouldn’t compromise. he was the one who broke atsumu’s heart. he’s the one who left. 

he got up quickly and went to his kitchen, suddenly wanting to break something or scream or both. he didn’t care anymore. he lost all the care in him half a bottle ago. he picked up his phone again. god, why couldn’t i have made you happy? he started to cry again, well crying was a nice word for it. kiyoomi was sobbing. his shoulders began to shake as he slid down his wall to the cold floor. he missed atsumu. he missed the way he would smile at kiyoomi. his smile was so beautiful. everything about him was beautiful, if kiyoomi was being honest. even the things that he thought he hated about atsumu were beautiful. he loved everything about him. he covered his face with his hands and cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. feeling comfortably numb, he reached for his phone. 

congratulations :) 

he posted the comment on the photo of the happy couple. he had to, he was going to be fine. he laid down on his floor and stared at the ceiling. deep down, he was happy for atsumu, he knew he was. he just wished that he could have made atsumu that happy, that they could be posting a picture on instagram, freshly engaged for the world to see. he felt tears prick his eyes again and he sighed. he was tired of crying. kiyoomi was so tired. he felt his phone buzz and swatted at his floor to find it. he looked at his too bright phone screen in the darkness and saw that he was mentioned in a comment.

thanks omi-kun! miss you!

he started crying again, he really couldnt help it. he misses me. he knew that it was probably just to be nice, but still. he smiled at the comment and against his better judgement he pressed the call button.

“hello? omi?” a familiar voice filled kiuoomi’s ears as he sighed and smiled to himself. 

“hi atsumu,” he was well aware his words were slightly slurring as he continued, “i just wanted to call and tell you congratulations on your engagement. it seems that you finally got everything you wanted.” he huffed out a humorless laugh that slowly turned into a sob. 

“omi... are you cryin over there? are you doin okay?” atsumu asked, concern lacing his voice. god, kiyoomi hated that. he hated the way atsumu was taking pity on him for being heartbroken. he hated that he was heartbroken to even begin with. this was all his fault. everything. he knew it and atsumu knew it, yet atsumu was the one who was happy and moving on with his life. kiyoomi, on the other hand, was drunk on his floor crying. 

“i’m so sorry atsu.” he choked out, it was barely a whisper. he hoped that atsumu could still understand what he was saying, “i never wanted to hurt you, really i- i didn’t. i wanted to make you happy. i wanted to make you smile, you know? all i ever wanted to do was to see you smile. i fucked it all up. i fucked us up. i’m so sorry. i was so stupid. i still am stupid,” he laughed even though there was a steady stream of tears rolling down his face, “i am really glad you are happy now, that you are smiling. does she make you happy, atsu?”

he heard atsumu clear his throat, “yeah she makes me happy. you made me happy too omi,” his voice cracked, his voice was heavy with emotion now, “you always made me happy, even when you looked like you wanted to kill me,” he let out a sad laugh. kiyoomi laughed too and closed his eyes. “omi, ya broke my heart but that doesn’t mean i stopped lovin you. i think a part of me always will love you if i’m being honest. i’m sorry too, if that helps. i’m sorry that you are hurting now because of me, but i’m also sorry for before. when we were together. i think i forced ya to do a lot of things omi. i never really gave up what i wanted for ya. you were always trying to change for me, but i never really did the same,” he sighed, “i think i was relieved when you broke up with me. i still loved you, so much, but it felt easier. i don’t think that we ever really worked that well, don’t ya agree?”

kiyoomi thought about what atsumu said before answering. he really did give up a lot for him, that’s why he eventually broke up with him, he was tired of changing. “i... i never really thought about it like that,” he answered truthfully, “i guess seeing myself as selfish was somehow easier. i told myself that we were too different, that we didn’t love each other enough. that wasn’t true though. i loved you more than anything,” i still do, he thought to himself, “i was just looking for a way out and now here we are.”

“here we are.” 

they sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, just listening to each other breathe.

after a while kiyoomi spoke up again, “i really miss you. i missed talking to you like this,” he said it in a hushed tone, like it was a secret.

“i really miss you too omi. i really, really do. i wanna see ya again soon, if that’s okay with you?” he asked, he sounded so full of hope, so expectant that it made kiyoomi want to cry all over again. it made him want to scream until he couldn’t scream anymore. 

he held his breath for a few seconds with the words i love you on the tip of his tongue, ready to be said. instead, he exhaled and smiled, “yeah okay, that sounds good.” it’ll all be okay, he thought to himself, this time he knew it was true.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting a fanfic on here so i hope you enjoyed it :) if this somehow goes badly i’m blaming ayanna.


End file.
